Jamba Juice!

Yesterday morning I got a coupon for a free smoothie at Jamba Juice wrapped in a free New York Post. A food I don’t consume, wrapped around a paper I don’t read…But it was FREE, everyone’s favorite word. But the line was out the door, so forget it. Well I was running a little early this morning, which gave me time to use my coupon. I have been intrigued and amused with Jamba Juice ever since I saw this silly Saturday Night Live skit spoofing on it. By the way it’s, first floor retail in the building I’m currently gigging in, so here’s my chance. I went in, but I didn’t have any idea what to order.
“What kind of fruits do you like?”
‘I don’t like fruit,’ I thought. “Uh, I don’t know.” There’s at least 25 menu items.
“Do you like Mango?”
“Mango? Yeah.”
“How about a Mango-A-Go-Go? It’s got mango and blah blah blah blah blah.”
“Yeah Ok.”
“Do you want a boost? Its got blah blah blah blah blah.”
“No boost.” I figured it’s not free.
Then they ask your name, so they can tell you when your smoooothie is done.
“Bob?”
“Kelly?”
Ooooh Kelly. Great way to pick up girls, “Hi Kelly. Which smoothie did you get, Mango?”
“Fuck off.”
Nevernmind.
“Rosey?”
Just as I’m out the door with my smoothie, some shit-for-brains lights up and my first sip is sulfur-charcoal-mango-a-gross-out. I should have waited until I got inside the office building where pollution is prohibited. Three sips later I’ve got brain freeze.

Oh by the way, the Mango-A-Go-Go retails for $5.85 with tax! Not habit forming.